Occasionally, people think it lands too much on the side of women when it comes to denial of sex which is usually seen as a precipitant of domestic violence.
A supposedly “sex-starved” Bulawayo woman aptly demonstrated that when she complained about her husband allegedly falling short on her saying that he had forsaken her in bed for more than two years.
Joy Muhlahlubi claimed her husband Justin Mutimbe, a police officer stationed at Khumalo Post was turning down her routine calls to bed.
Muhlahlubi who apparently feels she is being neglected, unwanted and dying inside bared her soul at the Bulawayo Civil Court where she was seeking a protection order against her husband claiming he was verbally, emotionally and physically abusing her.
“I have been married to Justin Mutimbe since August 2009 and we are married in terms of the Marriages Act Chapter 5: 11 and it still subsists. My husband started being abusive in 2017 when he refused to pay for my studies.
On 25 December last year he hit me on the head with a chair and I was hospitalised. He is also in the habit of insulting me in front of the children.
“On 10 August he violently pushed me against the wall and our son recorded the incident with my phone. He also strangled me and is chasing me out of the house saying he is a police officer and nothing will happen to him. He has since given me two weeks’ notice to vacate the house and I have nowhere to go,” complained Muhlahlubi.
She adds: “He no longer conducts himself as my husband. I have not known him for the past two years. When I asked him he refused saying I should go back to my parents’ house since he no longer loves me. He is also not providing for the family.”
In response, Mutimbe who was not opposed to his wife’s application said she had also been violent to him.
“I am not opposed to her application. She is, however, the one who has been violent towards me. In 2014 we were in this court where I was the applicant and the protection order was granted in my favour.
“Sometime in 2018 when we were at home after we had an argument she stood up and slapped me in front of my mother and children. I am however, praying for a reciprocal order since she is also violent towards me,” begged Mutimbe.
When she was asked by the presiding magistrate Nomasiko Ndlovu if her marriage still had a chance, Muhlahlubi said: “I am trying by all means to make it work, but it’s failing.”
Mutimbe, however, admitted that their differences were now irreconcilable.
“This marriage ended long back. It was founded on wrong reasons as the applicant came with a different agenda. We have been married for 11 years but we stayed together for only four years.
Our parents and pastors have tried to counsel us but to no avail. I don’t think even if you refer us for counselling it will work after her parents told me that my level of education does not match hers,” said Mutimbe.
In her ruling the magistrate granted a reciprocal order which compels both parties not to verbally, physically and emotionally abuse each other.
The magistrate also ordered Mutimbe not to evict his wife from the matrimonial house without a valid court order.