1O THINGS TO TELL YOUR HUSBAND BEFORE THE WEDDING

Brides spend a lot of time thinking about and planning their weddings: the dress, the venue, what kinds of little hats the bridesmaids will wear, etc. They may have a groom but sometimes he gets overlooked because there is a shower to go to and a bachelorette party to get fluffed up for.

1O THINGS TO TELL YOUR HUSBAND BEFORE THE WEDDING

If you have the ring, you also have the groom, and that’s something to be grateful for. Since no one is a mind reader, it’s a good idea to let you man know before the ceremony why you chose him and why you’re marrying him. Because realistically, you want to see him at the other end of that aisle.

Some brides like to tell their husbands this outright, others like to write a letter the night before the weddingand give it to their fiance before they part for the evening after the rehearsal dinner. Either way, we have ideas about what to include to get your sentimental side spinning.

Not much of a wordsmith? Not to worry. There are even more ways to surprise your husband on your wedding day.

1. He matters, too: Weddings tend to be all about the bride, but you can’t have one without a groom. It’s important to let your man know that even though pretty much everyone will be focused on you, that you will be focused on him. One bride we know made a beer cake with her husband’s college colors and sent it over to him while he and his groomsmen were getting ready. Little gestures like that will let him know that he’s not just a prop at this big party.

2. We’re a team: Planning a wedding can get a little hairy, since you’re mixing family and money and logistics. Now that the big day is here, let him know that it’s officially you and him against the world.

3. Not to get drunk: While shaving and getting ready with his boys, a few shots of Patron may seem like a festive idea. But not if he’ll be swaying during the ceremony. You need him to be lucid for at least the “I do” part. After that, all bets are off.

4. He’ll make a great father: Even if you don’t plan on having kids right away, let him know that it’s a part of life you’ll be excited to take on with him. Parenthood is very much a two-person job and he’s definitely qualified.

5. Specific things you love about him: Don’t just tell him that he’s thoughtful, give specific examples. It shows that you’ve been paying attention when he always remembered to order the sushi you like or booked that weekend getaway for your birthday. Everyone loves to be validated, and it’s important to tell your fiance that you’ve appreciated everything he’s done for you thus far.

6. Our engagement was the happiest day of my life: Because it was! Deep down we’re all romantic saps, and every girl wants a guy on his knee, professing his love for her, with a serious piece of bling. Most important, your engagement meant you two had a real future together, and what could be more exciting than that?

7. I really want to be a good wife: Which is modern terms means being a great partner. That means a future of entertaining his guests, being his arm charm at social events and assuring him that he’ll be fine when he’s lying in bed useless with an overblown case of the sniffles. It’s the banal moments of life that make a marriage great, and tell him you’re looking forward to all of them.

8. I’m scared of the unknown: Marriage is likely new territory for both of you. Even with all the advice and books out there, to a large degree you have to play it by ear. Admit you’ll make some mistakes, but you’ll make them together.

9. I know that we’re going to fight: Remind him that no matter what you squabble about, at the end of the day it’s him you want to curl up with. And that you were right all along.

10. What you plan to do to him on your wedding night: Everyone loves a preview, so before he scoots off for the night mention what you have in mind for your personal after party. Cold feet won’t be an issue for him, guaranteed.

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